Where Did The Time Go?

I found this post in my draft file today - clearly it was supposed to have been posted two months ago, but I guess it's better late than never!  (Actually now I saw that I had already posted a birthday post - oh well, now there are two!)

My darling bear turns one today.  One year old!  It seems like just last week I was going to the hospital, only to be sent home and then going back again.  At 10:08pm last Sept 28th, I got to meet the most beautiful girl in the world who then promptly crapped all over me.  My princess!

Daddy and his girl the day before we left for the surgery - not a great pic of either of them but I wanted to get one last shot of him holding his princess.  He now has to wait 6 weeks to hold her again! :(

"Mommy thinks she's brilliant letting me play with this ketchup bottle.  hehehe What the hell is she thinking?!?"

"Yepper's - lookit what I did!  Isn't it pretty?"

The very first time Miss Jillian pulled herself up to a toy.  She's a bit of a late bloomer since this didn't happen until she was 11 1/2 months old, but that just means mommy had more time to relax without having to fully chase after her.  Now she's on the go and I suspect that as soon as she starts daycare (in 6 days!) she'll be walking, reading and doing mathematical equations within days!

Sad

I'm sad today.  A lot has happened this week and we are still in Toronto.  The surgery went well and my hubby is still recovering.  I am at the hotel and it's my kiddo's 17th birthday.  I'm not going to see him today and it makes me so sad.  I have never missed a birthday...ever.

I know he's old enough to understand, but I'm not.  I talked with him last night and will call again tonight but it's just not the same.  Luckily I thought this might happen and had already bought and wrapped his gifts so he'll have something to open.  I felt guilty last night so I went out and bought him another gift - funny how guilt makes you do stuff like that!

On the plus side, my honey is recovering slowly but surely.  They had problems finding pain meds to help him without making him nauseous etc.  They had tried something new called a tap-block, which is basically like a front epidural.  They inserted two thin tubes into the sides of his abdomen during the surgery and the tubes have a plastic piece on the ends that allow the doctor to inject medication directly into the belly.  Unfortunately, the incision on my hubby is a long, vertical one that seems to be just too long to allow the meds to work for long before they dissipate.  It's supposed to offer 12 hr relief and seems to only help him for 1-3 hours.

They moved him to a regular room yesterday which is nice, and took out some of his cords and wires which is nicer.  He's currently in a private room with a view of the CN Tower - not sure who he paid to get that since we don't have private coverage but we're not complaining!  He was up walking last night and was going to try again after I left in the evening.  The more he walks the sooner he can be sprung from that joint!

My princess is with Grandma and doing alright.  She had a fussy day yesterday - Grandma thinks it's because they stayed up late to have an early birthday dinner with my kiddo.  She's in a good routine and who knows if she'll even want to come home.  I was sad last night and today thinking about the fact that since Sunday (5 days and counting) all four members of my immediate family have been separated.  I hate that.  I talked on the phone with my kiddo last night, and as soon as I hung up I wanted to call my hubby to tell him - but I couldn't.  I miss my best friend.  I see him all day every day and wouldn't have it any other way, but I miss chatting with him (he's too tired to talk much) and being able to properly hug him and sleeping beside him...I miss it all.  Oh well - suck it up I guess!  The good thing is that he's on the mend and going to be coming home soon.  It's all going to get better day by day from here!  On that note, I must go get ready to go and see him.  Today I am bringing him some Tim Horton's coffee - not sure if he's up to a sip, but I suspect he can be convinced!

Today We Head Off

Getting ready to take the train to get my hubby's surgery done tomorrow.  Nervous and anxious would be the mood around here.  It's all for a good end result, but organ donation is one of the only surgery's where there is no physical health benefit to the donor.  But the other benefits make it worthwhile.

We were sad dropping off our little princess last night at Gramma's!  We know she'll be well taken care of and well fed but it was particularly sad knowing daddy won't be able to hold his princess for quite some time - likely sometime in November.  Sigh.  Gramma said baby girl slept well last night though - 11 hours!  Gramma was very worried and deliberately woke her this morning - lol...crazy lady!

I will end this with some pics I got done for my hubby for after surgery - not sure yet if I'll post from the hotel or not...perhaps over a glass of wine one night!

Two Days in a Row!

I'm on a roll and getting back into the swing of things.  Again please bear with me as I will not have a computer next week...I may find one to tap out some posts but am not certain that will happen.  My poor sweet girl is not yet crawling but does what I call the "slither", where she uses one or both forearms and one foot or big toe to push herself across the floor.  I'd call it an army crawl but she really doesn't use both feet most of the time.  As a result, she got a blister on her big toe - a giant, raging blister.  I covered her feet with socks for a couple of days, and then when it started to heal I stopped using the socks, and low and behold, another blister just below the first.  It was like she knew it hurt in that one spot so she changed the way she pushed off.  Who said babies aren't smart?

She now points at things...primarily light fixtures and trees/flowers, and says something that sounds like "dussaa". Her daddy and I have decided that it sounds just enough like "What's that?" that it might officially be her first word.  Yes my baby is a genius.  A Genius I tell you!  (yeah yeah I know your kid is smart too)

My son will be 17 next week.  Where does the time go?  I remember him being so little, and sweet with a giant dimple in his cheek.  Now he shaves!  And drives!  And wears shoes big enough for both of my feet...really.

Sigh.  Oh well, I guess they all have to grow up sometime.  I just wish you could rewind once in awhile.

Knock Knock Knock...Hello? *creeps in slowly*

Hello if anyone is out there!  If not, I don't blame you because I have been missing for almost 2 months...sorry 'bout that!  Let me fill you in. We have been going through some stuff that has been kind of big and overwhelming, and my dear hubby didn't really want to have it public until it was actually going to happen (confusing I know, but just wait and I'll explain!)  I tried to blog a couple of times but this series of events was so big in my mind that I just felt weird blogging and not mentioning it so I just stepped away from the blog for awhile.  I debated a couple of times putting a post in but it felt almost...dishonest to myself to have something so huge hanging in my mind but not able to be put to the keyboard.  So, with my dear hubby's blessing, I will fill you in!

But first, look at how my sweet princess has grown!  She is just over 11 months and we are gearing up for her first birthday!  She is slithering (getting around very quickly but not quite on her knees yet), pulling up to stand, and has four whole teeth!

Okay, back to the story!  My dear hubby (DH) has a family member who needs a liver transplant and was put onto the transplant list in the spring.  We were told the wait list for his blood type can be 3-4 yrs, so it's not a good scene when someone needs a liver.  Along the way, we learned a lot about the liver and what it does (I had no idea!)  I will dumb it down a bit because that's the only way I understand it all.  The liver makes bile which helps digest food, it creates the clotting factor so that blood clots can form, it cleans toxins out of the body, and it helps you absorb many vitamins...it does other stuff too, but let me tell you, when your liver does not function properly, you get very, very sick.  Very sick.

When the option was presented for family and friends to get tested, my dear hubby did so.  I have always been a huge believer in organ donation and always said that if it were my sister, I'd do it in a heartbeat.  It is however a very big surgery, and a very big deal.  We talked a LOT about the implications of every outcome, and all of the bumps in the road that we could foresee.  At the end of the day, my DH was a blood match and was sent to Toronto for two days of intensive testing.  I went with him and let me tell you, they were long days with appointments scheduled so tightly that we had no time for lunch either day and my poor hubby had to fast both days so we were RAVENOUS by the end of the day!

The testing involved 15 vials of blood (in addition to the 12 they took in May), a CT scan, MRI, ultrasound, Xray, meeting with a transplant surgeon as well as a third party surgeon, meeting with the coordinator and to cap off our two days, a one hour meeting with the psychiatrist to make sure we weren't cuckoo!

We finally got word that it was a "go" and a date was set.  It is Sept 12...in 5 days.  We have to travel to TO for the surgery, and he will have to remain in hospital for 5-7 days (maybe more depending on complications).  Little Miss will go to Grandma's house to feast on ice cream and french fries for all that time, and my son will stay...gulp...alone with the dogs at home!  We have no clue as to how we will get home from TO (We're taking the train up but it's too much for him to take it back) but we'll worry about that once we know when we're coming back.

You would think this was big news, very overwhelming and stressful, and you would be right.  Now let's add in some more fun stuff.  My gov't subsidy for maternity leave will run out on Sept 17...yep right after the surgery.  I figured we could survive for a couple of weeks with no money (that's what Visa is for, isn't it?).  Then the kicker...we got a call from our amazing daycare lady a couple of weeks ago.  She needs 6 weeks off starting right when Little Miss was to start daycare.  I almost cried.  Then I asked her why and found out she had found a lump in her breast and requires surgery.  My added stress while real, took a backburner to this woman's very real health scare and I wished her only the best - I cannot imagine the fear and anxiety she is going through.



Now that that elephant is out of the closet or something like that, I feel like I can maybe blog again.  I apologize if it's not super regular right now as we'll be out of town for a bit but I am excited to be back and able to share our craziness with you all!