Sad

I'm sad today.  A lot has happened this week and we are still in Toronto.  The surgery went well and my hubby is still recovering.  I am at the hotel and it's my kiddo's 17th birthday.  I'm not going to see him today and it makes me so sad.  I have never missed a birthday...ever.

I know he's old enough to understand, but I'm not.  I talked with him last night and will call again tonight but it's just not the same.  Luckily I thought this might happen and had already bought and wrapped his gifts so he'll have something to open.  I felt guilty last night so I went out and bought him another gift - funny how guilt makes you do stuff like that!

On the plus side, my honey is recovering slowly but surely.  They had problems finding pain meds to help him without making him nauseous etc.  They had tried something new called a tap-block, which is basically like a front epidural.  They inserted two thin tubes into the sides of his abdomen during the surgery and the tubes have a plastic piece on the ends that allow the doctor to inject medication directly into the belly.  Unfortunately, the incision on my hubby is a long, vertical one that seems to be just too long to allow the meds to work for long before they dissipate.  It's supposed to offer 12 hr relief and seems to only help him for 1-3 hours.

They moved him to a regular room yesterday which is nice, and took out some of his cords and wires which is nicer.  He's currently in a private room with a view of the CN Tower - not sure who he paid to get that since we don't have private coverage but we're not complaining!  He was up walking last night and was going to try again after I left in the evening.  The more he walks the sooner he can be sprung from that joint!

My princess is with Grandma and doing alright.  She had a fussy day yesterday - Grandma thinks it's because they stayed up late to have an early birthday dinner with my kiddo.  She's in a good routine and who knows if she'll even want to come home.  I was sad last night and today thinking about the fact that since Sunday (5 days and counting) all four members of my immediate family have been separated.  I hate that.  I talked on the phone with my kiddo last night, and as soon as I hung up I wanted to call my hubby to tell him - but I couldn't.  I miss my best friend.  I see him all day every day and wouldn't have it any other way, but I miss chatting with him (he's too tired to talk much) and being able to properly hug him and sleeping beside him...I miss it all.  Oh well - suck it up I guess!  The good thing is that he's on the mend and going to be coming home soon.  It's all going to get better day by day from here!  On that note, I must go get ready to go and see him.  Today I am bringing him some Tim Horton's coffee - not sure if he's up to a sip, but I suspect he can be convinced!