I Will Find It...I Will

I am about to spend the afternoon searching my kiddo's room.  He has it and I will find it.  It's a manual that he must have hidden somewhere. 

The one titled something like "How To Irritate Yours Parents in The Least Amount of Time" or "The Teens Guide to World Domination, One Parent At A Time." 

I know he's got it.  Maybe under the mattress.  Maybe at the back of the closet.  Maybe in e-reader format, but he must have it.

Sometimes I wonder how I can see my normal, friendly, mature teenager morph into an alien being whose definitions of respect and personality are exchanged for defiance and nail-on-chalkboard-teeth-grinding irritation.

GAH!

Until I find and destroy the manual, I will maintain my distance from the alien being, lest I end up doing something that will result in me wearing an orange jumpsuit, spending 23 hours a day staring through bars and being very nice to a large, mean woman named Berta.